PLEASE READ THIS FIRST: Psalm 38
What do you sense the Lord saying to you in this passage?
“My guilt has become too much for me. It is a load too heavy to carry.” (Psalm 38:4)
David is in a bad place: physically, mentally, emotionally and socially tormented.
He traces the cause to his immoral choices, his doing something that he knows is wrong.
And now he feels the weight of his sin and guilt, and he’s about to blow!
Its like a ‘tractor pull’, where a tractor pulls a trailer with a weight on it.
The weight starts at the back, slowly moves to the front, making it harder to pull.
The longer we carry unconfessed sin and unresolved guilt, the heavier it becomes.
As in a tractor pull, the tractor eventually gets stuck, and sometimes the engine blows.
I recently read about a murderer on the run for 7 years who finally turned himself in.
The burden and pressure of life on the run became too much to carry.
I think of Judas who couldn’t face his shame and regret and ended his life (Matthew 27:1-5).
David shows us a better way, not denial or blameshifting but honesty and repentance.
David faces his guilt and runs to the God he has betrayed and pleads for mercy.
I sense the Lord asking me what I will do: will I try to pull this burden until I explode?
Or will I turn to God for mercy and help, and allow Him to remove it from me?
Lord, I hear You saying to me that I need to be honest like this too. Help me to experience the weight of guilt enough to change before my engine blows!